one of my aunt is an MBBS grad, already have the Prof title, pass the retiring age and now work in a private institution (no. Not here :P) But if you seen her in person, I don't think that previous statement would come to your mind (btol tak Nieda?) Currently, my inbox pretty much spammed by stuff sent by either my Sis or her (and I am too lazy to forward it to other people because I'm damned lazy to update my address book... Its only by luck that some addresses ends up there.) and one morning, I got one from her with the title INTRODUCTORY MEDICINE 101 and the 'To's were filled with addresses that I'm supposing to be her students. I thought she sent it to me since, well... I'm kinda in that field :P she attached a word document together with this little message of hers:
So I downloaded the attachment, and opened it... to a list of terms (copy-pasted like it is yo!):
INTRODUCTORY COURSE on HOSPITAL MANAGEMENT (HMX 101)
BASIC NEEDS OF A HOSPITAL
CORE PERSONNEL
Doctor: Key staff who kills your ills by pills, and kills YOU by bills.
Nurse: Key staff who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills.
Technologist: Lab person who talks to you in techno-babble.
Ayama: The person who cries: “Aya ma...” when you walk on the floor she has just cleaned.
BASIC SERVICES
Ambulance: Nice car to drive during traffic jams.
Health Insurance: Concerns money, not health.
Admission Counter: ... checks your ability to pay.
BASIC INVESTIGATIONS
Xray: Obsolete investigation - not to be confused with XXray the movie.
Ultrasound: The sound of an angry Matron or Sister.
Imaging: Getting ISO certification to boost the hospital’s image.
Monemeter: Autoimaging gizmo which confidentially scans a patient’s wallet on admission.
SPECIALISTS & SPECILIATIES
Specialist: Doctor who knows almost everything about almost nothing!
Physician: Doctor who got ‘A’ in Physics and had to refer Medicine.
Surgeon: Doctor whose mantra is: “When in doubt, cut it out”
Orthopedic Surgeon: Academic name for the OT carpenter.
Cardiologist: Doctor with no heart.
Gastroenterologist: Doctor with no guts.
Neurologist: Doctor who gets on your nerves.
Pediatrician: Childish doctor.
Neonatologist: Very childish doctor.
Geriatrician: Absent-minded professor.
Obstetrician: The real “stork”.
Gynecologist: 1) Specialist in women and other diseases. 2) Porn doctor.
Psychiatrist: Couch doctor at work, couch potato at home.
Psychologist: 1) Precursor to a psychiatrist. 2) Doctor who helps himself by writing self-help books.
Urologist: Panel doctor for Indahwater.
Endocrimologist: Person who investigates inside crimes.
Oncologist: Costs you plenty ongko$ 2C.
Otorhinolaryngologist: Mouthful doctor who checks your ear, nose and throat. The one who checks the right ear is the right one 4U2C if your ear rings, your nose runs, and your throat’s deep.
Pathologist: Pathological doctor.
Microbiologist: Microcephalic doctor.
Parasitologist: Parasitic doctor.
Wormologist: Person who worms his way to the top.
Pharmacologist: Traditionalist nemesis.
Pharmacist: Drug pusher!
Psychotherapist: Psycho - the rapist!
Molecular Medicine: Imaginary Medicine.
Complementary Medicine: The art of flattering VIPs.
(BTW, VIP = very irritable patient).
ENTRY QUIZ (MD PROGRAM):
What’s the difference between a doctor and a journalist?
Journalist: PRINTS his mistakes!
Doctor: BURIES his mistakes!!
I'm not suprised if all of those were coined by her...
Remind me to check the "Cc"s to see if she send so-called medic-related e-mails to other family member
-_-;
Duped first thing in the morning macam siot je
Haha~
Hope that'll lighten the day!
=3
HAPPY STUDYING FOR THE FINAL PAPER & PREPARING YOUR VIVA & THESIS!
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