If I could change the world...

I'm tired...

I'm emotionally tired...

Shouldn't have read what people commented on that blog...

But hey, a norm is a norm!

Y'know, when I heard Isshi had died I was stoned. A tear or two shed but that was that. Spent the whole day stalking isshi on twitter trend (top 3 that day worldwide). Songs and words that I've read and heard from him just kept rotating in my head and it was only when I was in bed I thought that everything that is left of him is merely recordings. No more new recording of him singing, no more head scratching translation of his words...

Earlier this month I've got and watched and listened to both the last live DVD and the indie compilation CD and thought maybe... Give it 5 years tops, they will make, at least, a reunion concert and maybe, finally, I'll be there amongst the sea of fans, enjoying the show, enjoying the music, enjoying Kagrra, at its best... He said it himself at their last live, "Kagrra, can never be Kagrra, without these 5 members" and it's true. Now that the circle have been broken, a reunion would be absurd. It's easy to replace a member of a band if they play instruments, given the one that is replacing is on par or even better, better than the one being replaced. But the voice, that is one instrument that you may never find alike. May sound similar, but never alike. Even if they can find another that has a voice like him and can sing like him, can he move the crowd as how well Isshi did? No. Because Kagrra, can never be Kagrra, without the 5 of them. So, no. No reunion in the future for Kagrra,. putting their disbandment as their "demise" was tragically correct.

So I cried to sleep, thinking everything related to him now are

"was"
"were"
"had"

and so on...

But the next morning I thought, is it right for me to mourn, to expect him to be in a better place? The first stem from the fact that I knew not of him, not personally. The second one... well... as a muslim I was taught non-muslim won't reach heaven but then again, anything can happen during one's final moment so I did pray to God he'd be in a better place.


Then I read FOA latest entry regarding the incident in Norway where to sum it up, it all boils down to racism. Such a tragedy could be diverted if only there is respect and tolerance and he link back to the situation to Malaysia with the ultra Malays and what not. Then I read the comment. Some of them just made me feel mad but mostly sad. Why do we need to hate others? Strip the ethnicity, the religion, the skin colour, we are made the same. Why can't they, instead of blatantly hate, pray for the better of the others. Were we not taught to think only the good of others? What is wrong with all these hate-mongering and fear-planting? Should who we are matter that much? What have we contributed, what have we given back, should that be more important.


I swear I've cried the worst today in this week. I just hate this feeling. I know the world won't go for the better but I still pray that it will. Why? God knows...