Revelation! D8

It's a relieve... Yet it is a frightening thing... One point I was starting to follow the Imam to start terawikh and the next thing I knew,

SNAP!

I DON'T WANT TO CONTINUE INTO MEDIC!

My head just screamed. I had a panic attack babai pahala khusyuk DEM! and with the kids at the back screaming and crying (I think they were having a go to see who is loudest at throwing tantrums... they're dead if I were the mom kot) and this lady seemed to be swaying back and forth making me think that she'll collapsed like just how a pregnant lady once did in front of me & Mak, nothing was helping.

3 letters:

OMG!

A couple of times if I don't feel so much of sleep or anything else caught me I'll pray, asking whether or not medic is the best option... and there's a part where it goes somewhat like "if it is the best for me then ease the path for me and if its not then lead me to the better option" (I'm making it easy right now, not gonna take the direct words from those books!) I think the path is pretty much eased already if I am to go there; 29 register (and STUPID orientation), 5-9 BTN (way to go... I feel more patriotic sitting in Ms. Marshela's Pengajian Malaysia's class than hearing about BTN... btw, I got A for the subject already so lets just ditch it) 11 fly off... okay, getting there is easy but then I kept thinking of how is it then, during the whole course. And I haven't even start to approach any university about doing Masters so... (dude, pi sembahyang minta betol2 Masters, ditch the medic idea)


I had to see Ms. Halijah to take some letters (ya la, nanti you all see laa what's it about) and I told her I don't want to. Logically, there's a chance in that same 4 1/2 years I'll be a doctor too... with PhD! and I swear, I'm very very not good at helping people yang banyak songeh. Everytime I'm up with even the slightest of all remarks, me brain will go into its GTFO state... I'm random so I'm pretty scared that random me won't get my braing into the GTFO state but my mouth and in worst case scenario, maybe my limbs -_-; I felt tired sometimes managing my anger so I just let it out... and its usually at the wrong places *headdesk*


I'd rather deal with animals... They always have their charm (a shark flashed in one of my lecturer's lecture slide & I was the retard who went "aww~ CUTE~!" ...go figure) and they'll never piss you off with words (because they can't talk! =D) Sure, they scratch, they bite, they sting, they'll try to venomate me and maybe even make a meal out of me but physical pain to me is way bearable than those of the mental and emotional form... but oh well, can't say much bout regrets can we? It'll be there always together with the "what if"s

Of course, now the first obstacle that is apparent is MARA: whether its true they're not gonna give any reduction for BBM if I don't continue MBBS (what crap of a thing to do when not only I pass the passing point but I pass MY effing target!) and if I can still get their support (I REALLY wanna hear their excuse to not to if I can find a place for fraction of the money :P) ...Ms adviced going for the tutor scheme (learning institute provides the money to study, we work for them afterwards. Nice win-win situation!) and if all else fails... work while try to presuade people still (I think I have a wierd dream something about this... O_o eff I didn't just say that!)


But y'know... after the chat with Ms (and YES~! Surat tamat dah dapat! 8D) I felt like... YAH HELL WITH MEDS IMMA BEIN A LECTURER SOON (XD irony...) So... I guess I'm going for it, rebelling the system (sort of) ...I'm pretty tired of being in that straight line anyways (if you haven't figure out, it's very hard for me to go with what's in like, VERY) but there's a catch: IF of all the sudden I happen to show up on the 29th for registration, the only thing that will be flashing in my head is "JUST SHOOT ME, OKAY?"


Btw, surat2 aku dah scan, tengah upload. Nanti done aku taruk link in a new entry together with some other infos & SMS sumorang... & me is cleanin up me LiveJournal page so can convert to a sorta~~ archive for evrything in maa mediafire files? Just because from the blog iz confusingz to put a section for mediafire linkiez and you dudez don't hafta bee botherd to be azking mee of where what (KO PI TIDO LA!)


Is it a phenomenon everywhere or is it just here the cats are damn horny, making that horny noise day in, day out... if they're not fighting each other for that black female... if there's no rain