Its coming, is it not?

*giddy2*

*jitter2*


._.


that's a weird cocktail of feeling to be had.

but then again I am in this confused state of idle-ness which is...

._.,


hwaa~!~!!~!!!

Tomorrow the last result will be out... THE LAST ONE! Damn I have been waiting for this very moment; the moment I can finally severe ties with that institution (hello, Yun Nam) But then I got the news that maybe I will still be attached to it for another 4 and a half year or pay the 3 years full (*heddesk* why~? T_T) But I was VERY sure that they say afterwards is optional on our registration day... or was that just to "pancing" us to think that we had the best offer in town (HELLO, YUN NAM!) Neways, I've been looking for alternative path, which by mean doing Masters elsewhere that is about the range of whatever that medic course will cost and poke my "Sugar Mama" to let me have it my way (for once) but course hunting...

OMG...


@_@;;

All I wanted to know was which university in a certain place have the course, the requirements, the cost, the duration and type but what I got was informations irrelevant to what I need being shoved into my face -_-; So far the only one that I can see kinda clearly is UKM. Not only its coursework-based, (I very much am not confident with my lab ability, especially handling the canggih2 machines that names consist of caps letters and numbers) I get to pick between two quite large discipline (no brainer to guess which would I lean onto) and some of my lecturers had recommended it.

When I finally learnt the real pointer to qualify to proceed into medic, I got very confident I'll pass it (yes, I am that cocky) but the real question to me is that, do I reach my personal mark? My first sem was excellent, passing that mark. but as the sem proceeds, the numbers drop, closing over to the mark. Closer and closer the numbers slide. Finally, it dropped under the line. I was pissed with myself for not getting it. Apparently, whatever I'm good at, I'm VERY good at it but all the others that made me go "whe,whe,wha,whoo~T~!" (mereng) ...should I mention more?

But the Research Project is a beautiful saviour for me. I kinda gave my arms and legs for it, struggling through a whole lot of stuff at the same time so mentally, I've decided that if I don't get A for them, I'm screwed... Thankfully I'm not... Though many look back at theirs and dread them, I'm glad to look back at mine, full with satisfaction... as well as the thought of "maybe if I did this/that..." Just so to let it rest, I showed it to Dr Ammar, asking him if I were to do it over again, what should I do or change to make it better and he briefed me on it, giving me insights and tips and of course, the reassurance: "I think for your level your work is excellent"

=D
(cakap sape tak bangge macam nak mati buat keje pastu kene puji kaw2 punye?)

but the total result last time got me... just that one teeny-tiny step from my mark. I'm still not there

:|

Huhu... I'm really REALLY hoping that I'll get up of my mark (I'll cry like a weeny loser if not T_T) and I'm really hoping to get more hints on how to find a good place in a great price range or get a good scholarship/loan package to do Masters. 4 and a half years more to get another degree is just... I guess I'm just scared. What if I screw up? What if I can't adapt? What if the management is even screwed up than here? Do they have Skinfood? (wahahahaa~) of course, I wouldn't go there alone (I'm really sure of that =) ) but then again, your worst enemy is yourself...

T_T


wuu~

kakkoot~!

can I add that alot of things I heard about BTN is killing my patriotic cells?