Standing still still...

Mkay, baru recover dari kne hentam dengan tren semalam (tido lagi ujong2 Asar, tido lagi! D<>)


Senyap seribu due patah... Camtu ke? Ntah la... Sebenanye senyap pasal takde progress pape pon, dok je situ macam mengharap burung antu Sya yang die cakap nak anta duit raye & amik aku satu famly pi kenduri umah die datang sambar bawak lari... Sengal... I find it embarrasing, the state that I am. Memang la ade tengok2 sane tapi... Well, bile ade banyak sangat info kene telan mule la, cari katil tak pon wat bende2 lagho so...

Hmm... Keje? Tah, macam tak boleh kot... Pasal keje initial nak buat tak terbuat, start buat bende lain karang mule laa tak boleh dok diam, risau. So nak tak nak, selesai priority 1 baru boleh piki keje... kot XD Dah la dok umah tak kuar2, kalah orang kene house arrest & quarantine. Ye la, nak kuar pakai keter, keter yang boleh disalah gune sentiase takde & lagipon kalo ade pon, co-driver kene sentiase ade (takde sape dalam umah ni caye aku bawak keter sendiri lagi. miahahahaha~ :P) Lagipon dulu biase kalo kuar naik beskal tapi beskal... Waya yang sambung kat gear blakang dah putus, dial stuck kat gear berat pulak~~ (takde keje la kan naik bukit gear 5 :P) Nak pi btolkan, poket udah gersang (Macam takde je dwet tu RP T_T) Jalan saje... Aku menyampah dengan mate2 sekalian manusie yang macam tak penah tengok orang berjalan... Nak lagi melampau, siap buat bunyi sekali... ko ingat aku ni ape, natang?! Kenal pon tidak, aku sumbat kasut aku dalam mulot ko baru tau! & YES THAT IS VERY UNACCEPTABLE & VERY DEGRADING WHEN GUYS DO THAT TO GIRLS & I REFUSE TO TAKE IT AS A NORM! Islam naikkan martabat perempuan tapi orang Islam suke hati turunkan ):<> (Okay, emo jap pasal bende ni pasal ia satu isu yang aku kesah sangat2)

Pastuh... Aku ade gak ikut perkembangan diorang2 kat Bangalore. Memang tak yah cakap la they're on a roll. Pastuh compare, diorang, aku, them, me, me... :| hampeh terase diri. Bile aku nak bergerak nih? Dok bagi alasan kat diri sendiri je kenape tak, transkrip diorang takmo bagi lagi la, pape la...


Until one morning... I woke up and I had that crazy feeling of uneasiness and queasy and practically nothing adds up. I tried to think of what is it that I wanted to do but nothing really came up my head. Nothing except that restless feeling. Tried screaming silently, waving and jumping around... But nothing... Until something came up later in that day.

Y'know how people just do things because it's conveniently right there in front of them and how people are so dependent on others that they'll just do what others do? Short term stuff, fine, I'll follow if I am that blundered at the moment (lagi2 bab2 pilih kat mane nak makan bile kuar ramai2) but how about if it's your future that's at stake? I don't think it's wise to go with something just because other people go with it or they say it's the best for you. Tak yah aku aim orang pasal aku rase ramai yang macam nih. Just kalau terase, fikir balik betol2. I dare say this pasal aku ade option dulu; stand up and stick to what I wanted to do or do what other people want me to do pasal it's convinient and orang cakap It's good for me. It doesn't take a genius to guess which road I took and dammit, IT HURTS. Memang, I moved on, I adapt and I make use of it and to be honest, I kinda enjoyed it BUT, ape2 pon yang dah jadi, I still can't erase this regretful feeling in me for the choice I've made and I still have all these "what if"s going in my head. I swear, it is one of the worse feeling one can feel and it is even worse that I am to carry this pain in me for the rest of my life... Okay, bad feeling to carry around but it is a great lesson learnt well to me none the less. Say now you have the power to determine your next step, look at the options and apparently if you're so blinded that you don't see them, LOOK FOR THEM AND STOP BEING LAZY FOR YOUR OWN SAKE. Life always offer us choices (it's just us who makes bad desicions :P) Then, assess their pros and cons and afterwards, assess yourself by asking what is it that you want in life and is there any particular choice that's going to help you in the long run and if there's more than one then choose the best! Yes, you're BFFs but really, really, is it what they do what you really want to do? So don't EVER take your hands off when it comes to your future because the one who will suffer is YOU. Of course, there will be the pain and trouble to be overcome but who cares of that as long as the end result you'll be happy and satisfied with it?

To be honest, bile aku encounter bende ni aritu I felt appalled, siap tanye balik, "have you ever sit down and think of what you really want to do or are you going to just take whatever it is in front of you because it is convenient for you?" Yang bestnyer at the same time aku terase macam diri sendiri kene lempang dengan tangan besar lagi perkase. Cakap orang, awak tuh kat mane? Alhamdulillah, insaf balik. So pada orang yang terlibat, thanks pasal bagi peluang aku sedarkan diri =)


Lepas tuh... nak gerakkan diri start buat ape yang patut dibuat tapi time tuh tengah ade projek yang pretty much suicidal: Tag segale2 lagu kat dalam folder UTA aku (folder lagu jepon yang dah lebih 10 GB) Pening ah tengok kanji tak reti bace & tak reti nak sebot padahal lagu tuh best... Bile nak cari konfem tak tercari, file name lain, tag name lain. Dem tol. Pastuh bile start tagging tu macam2 laa pulak encounter~ tak wujud dalam official discography diorang la, typeset lain la (ARGH~!!!) Tapi dah nak sudah dah, tinggal X JAPAN pastuh nak double check sume skali jalan (KANPAI~! ^^v) Tapi macam terkejut jugak la band2 top in my list of favourites boleh pulak ade lagu/singles yang takde. Tapi awesome la ade site JaME. Sangat membantu, unless bands tuh sangat laa unknown nyer macam me-al art & Tsubakiya Shinjuusou. Other than that refer wiki (bagus gak pasal die kadang2 siap bagi translation tajuk tuh lagi) and official website diorang. Hasil~~ Sangat puas hati~ ^^~

Tapi masalahnye sekarang... Bile cek tau ade yang takde, konfem la nak ade... Nak ade kene download... Babi sungguh Maxis bagi max download 3GB/month (ello~ purata kegunaan harian aku tu!) ... & did I mention yang die sipot punye slow nak on YM pon payah? Nak lagi kronik, Yahoomail pon tak lepas ARGH!!! I hereby not recommending it to those who cares for their sanity.


As for what I want to do after this... Hari tu ade pi this Study in Aussie exhibition kat KLCC. Though tak semua U diorang ade kat situ promote their stuff tapi yang ade not bad la (except Monash. Kanak2 local yang kerek jage booth diorang) Dari ape yang aku tanye2 diorang, option tuk aku actually agak diverse though most macam more on biotech tapi ade gak yang bagi wat immunology & infection nyer stuff (parasit! nyam2! 83) and ade 1 U actually bagi wat masters in forensic lagi! Pastuh ade course yang kire ade "add-on" pasal boleh wat MBA or something2 management sekali (of course la lebih sket mase dan harge dari original course tuh) Macam interesting... Scholarships tuk international students~~ Ade certain U bagi and ade yang boleh mintak from certain2 badan. Memang sangat best and worth it pegi berasak situ, promo diri (wek~!) pasal diorang kat booth2 tuh sangat2 helpful! (unless dapat macam yang kat atas tuh...) Siap ade certain U tuh kalau transcript ade on the spot boleh terus apply lagi -_-;


Tapikan, seriously macam interesting tuk sambung blaja Down-under. Ramai pon yang cakap best. Hmm... tengok la nanti. Tapi from site2 yang aku check kalo aku nak apply skarang pon boleh tuk intake tengah taun depan so~ nak cakap "this is it!" belum boleh lagi kot... Tapi dah ade dah yang interesting dihati. Nak cross-reference dengan list ranking U (yang bising sekarang QS) pastuh...

...

......

...tak brani cakap lagi...



Tengok je la~

:P