Fell in love with a boy...

Pasal takde reader boleh la aku trangtangtang bukak rahsia pastu kambus dengan entry baru :D ngee~

Some stuff had happened in these couple of weeks that made me thought about this thing between me and boys/guys. I never thought myself as an attractive lady as in the typical sopan, gadis Melayu terakhir sort of person. I'm rowdy, I can be loud at time, I'm stubborn and yeah... I can be violent. Girls and boys seem to have similar opinion about me on first glance; sombong, not so friendly and somewhat unapproachable, particularly the guys. But that didn't stop some guys from taking a fancy of me.

I always find it weird

And how some guys go about it is even weird

I don't know why they go right round right round instead of directly saying it

Then again, maybe because I might had did the same

Oh, you don't know?

I fell in love with a boy once

I did confessed to him

Well, at least, I think that's what I did. I just splurted out and babble it out it was bad

But the point is

This perigi actually went to a timba

It was a hard call for me

I am aware of the saying but hell could I care, I loved him and I wanted him to know that

But I was still in that state of mind and still am

I don't believe in such a relationship

So we stayed friends

Even when we went our separate ways after school I still keep in contact

But then I noticed he's pretty close to a girl in his profile

So I asked him the obvious

"You like her?"

He said she's just a friend

But then some pictures of her ended up in his profile picture

I don't think friends do that

So I didn't contact him

And so did he

The bitter part for me with that was I asked a straight forward question but he can't fess up

He had been bitter about his life, but he never opened up much

I've guessed and prodded but he's probably too proud to share

Because I know he's bitter, I've always wanted him to be happy

And if it means being with another girl, I'd be happy to back down

Because that's how much I've loved him

That closed my heart out that crazy little thing called love

I gave up on it

And I swear that this perigi ain't gonna go out looking for any timba

I'm leaving the hard work to guys now

I've had several guys saying they were interested in me even before what happened above

Too bad they only say it after they've freaked me out

Saya-awak after all these while we've been aku-kau

Insisting on taking a picture together

Sharing topless photo of himself

Really guys, you'd think a girl would go for that?

The only exception was a friend who been out with me twice before saying it

I turned him down but I respect him for having the guts to say it without freaking me out in the first place

 

Do I purposely choose to be single?

Yes

Why?

I need a man, not a boy

I have my fears when it comes to this world

If you're intimidated by me then who is going to protect me from the things that scares me?

I guess what he said about being the alpha male protecting their woman does make sense...

Hmm?

Oh, a guy asked me out

The thing that surprised me was that I couldn't even bother to change after cleaning the house and just pulled my scarf and cardigan on, bought stuff from him, we talked and he straight on asked me out

I thought he needed a serious eye check and a pair of glasses

But we did went out for lunch and sat and talked by the river

I was curious why he'd asked me out but I didn't asked him directly

But he told me anyways

He said he finds my intelligence attractive

I don't think I'll go out with him again

But it taught me something

I'm not gonna lower myself just to boost a guy's confident in picking me up!

And so should other girls!

;)